You're looking for "music"? Looking for a list of "albums" by a certain "band"? You're in the wrong section. Fuck off back to discogs, you ugly, creepy, little piece of shit. I did not make this music for your damn collection, or for you to hijack, ransack, pilfer, or otherwise use for whatever stupid bullshit thing you're trying to do. You can find the music of the fame chasing dorks over at the ridiculous make-believe version of the music industry known as bandcamp.
You an art lover? Hey babe. You've reached the final resting place. The reliquary. All the beautiful butterflies pinned into one glorious 320kbps glass case.
The remaster of all 12 hours of Michael J. Bowman's original audio art. 275 individual tracks. Everything Michael ever recorded (minus the stuff he hates).
There never was any recording contract, no money, no fans. My music was never in a record store, there were no concerts or MTV videos. It all existed inside a private, pre-Internet make-believe world of cassettes and zines traded through the US Mail. You weren't there and you didn't trade with me, so stop trying to create some fake history, a fake discography, that you VOLUNTARILY created, that you sweated out for free, like some creepy little self-appointed ferret curator, so that some Jesuit scumbag could monetize it all. Fuck you to hell Karsten Rodemann you ugly little piece of shit. I don't know you and I don't want to know you, so get my stuff out of your fucking crappy discogs, and fuck off back to whatever sewer you crawled out of. There is no band, no album, and therefor no band name, album title or album art. There is no record company, no label, no money, no fans. There is 275 mp3s, each with its own fake artist name, fake album title, and non-existent album art. We designed it this way to fuck with the anal retentive collector scum, the cheap ass thieving so-called music 'fans', and the stupid way mp3 players and the contemporary music industry works. I did not create this stuff for you to ransack it, hijack it, pilfer it, write about it, post it on your thing to make yourself seem cool (you're not), or play it on your make-believe phony radio show, or whatever other horseshit you do with it
THAT DOES NOTHING FOR ME. Either click the button and LISTEN ONLY, or fuck off. These are not audio objects to feed your pathological disease.
This collection now supercedes all previous Michael J. Bowman releases of any kind in any format. Previous cassettes, CDRs, vinyl discs and digital files (wav, aiff, flac, mp3, etc...) are hereby declared by the artist to be invalid, illegal and illegitimate, and should be destroyed. The artist/project names "MJB", "MJB90", "Michael J Bowman", "Cloud", "Velveeta Heartbreak", and any others, are hereby declared dead and invalid, and are never to be associated with this body of work or with any portions thereof again. Ever. AND the artist/project name from here to eternity is whatever I say it is now, until I change it again. Don't be a douchebag, just mind your own fucking business and don't fuck it up by trying to be some dickie-mo archivist, or wannabe music critic, or mickey mouse dj, or phony record label, or some dickhead bullshit like that
from which I get NOTHING. Just fuck off. Starving to death is shitty enough without having parasites like you sucking my blood.
MORE ABOUT THIS
These 275 mp3s are the most comprehensive collection of Michael J Bowman's recordings ever assembled. Every recording has been "remastered" and properly tagged in 320kbps mp3 format, and includes tracks not found in any other previously compiled version of Michael's work.
We do not claim that these "remastered" versions sound better, it's just that all other versions of my audio art are now illegal and must be disposed of. Ownership of any former version of my audio art constitutes shitfuckery and douchebaggery. These are not remixes from multi-track masters, these are technical adjustments to the original mixed masters. Volume and frequency have been adjusted, in an attempt to make the recordings louder, editing has taken place to re-arrange the tracks and remove the dead weight, all towards giving each track its best advantage for the potential new listener. And did we mention louder? When Michael was playing the drums, electric bass, the guitars, jankin' the casio thru the rat pedal, etc... during the recording of many of these tracks, it was LOUD. We want some of that loudness to be felt upon playback.
If what you are after is the original, un-edited artifacts, you're in the wrong section. I'm sure some anal-retentive nazi at the discogs shit-hole can find the old tapes and CDRs for collector scum such as yourself. Discogs is for douchebags. Don't waste your time and money there, this version is better. WAY better. Plus it's never been touched by the grotty grubby hands of the disgusting, sweaty, creepy little rodents at discogs.
This version is the loudest version of Michael's work we are able to present, properly formatted for the mobile digital era. The recordings are broken out into individual named tracks, as opposed to the longer connected "suite" format of the cassette tapes and the "Velveeta Heartbreak Sound Archive 1984-2009". And we've obscured the names of the tracks, so that the clueless dorks at discogs can't figure out which tracks go with which old tape or disc they have when they try to link to the track without asking me first. And if you do try that, I'll remove the links and put it somewhere else. Don't be a discogs piece of shit and we won't have to do that.
In 2024 Michael began to recover and refurbish every copy of his audio art he could find, and in Audacity, listening carefully to every second, he made "adjustments". Prior to 1998, most of Michael's work was mixed down from multi-track cassette tapes and open-reel 4-track onto either cassette tape masters or VHS Hi-Fi tape masters. Somewhere around the year 2000, Michael began to transfer these analog tape masters to wav and aiff files. During that process the old tape masters and the tape decks proved unreliable, and despite the best efforts at the time, noise artifacts were introduced into the digital masters that are "baked-in" and very difficult or impossible to remove.
However, Michael's process of creating louder versions introduces a new type of "noise" that not everybody may find preferable to the older versions. Because this entire compilation was created on an inexpensive HP laptop in Audacity with a pair of Audio Technica headphones, we recommend playback in a similar sound environment. That is, for best results, play these files from a computer and listen with decent headphones at low volume.
Another difference in these versions is the arrangement, duration and/or title of some tracks. During the process of "remastering" every recording, Michael not only edited and re-arranged many tracks (see
recombinant art), but also replaced old track titles with new titles he deemed to be more interesting than the original ones. We can only hope that this causes great confusion and frustration amongst collectors, and brings extra joy to art lovers and new fans.
For the uninitiated, Michael J Bowman is a psychedelic painter, zinester and erstwhile rock drummer who between 1984 and 2009 created a body of recorded audio work as a 4-tracker one-man-band, probably best classified as "lo-fi indie rock". Noisey songs and songy noises, all built on a foundation of real drumming. All of it is to be considered "lo-fi", since Michael is an artist, not a "musician", and never had access to proper studios or microphones. The sound quality varies greatly, and improves a bit over time, as he moved from his analog tape era (1984-1998) to his tape/computer era (1999-2009). Back in the day, Michael hand copied these tracks at home onto cassettes and CDRs, and shared them out to friends, bandmates, musicians, artists, zinesters and indie radio DJs.
"My father played jazz piano… he didn't read sheet music, he would just sit down and play. As a child, that is how I thought all music was made. People just "played it", the way one walks or talks. If I listened to my sister's Beatles record, I assumed they just grabbed the instruments and played, and out came "Hey Jude". It didn't occur to me that someone had to take days of effort and false starts just to write it, then show it to the others so they could learn how to play it, then rehearse it a hundred times to get it right, then edit it into a frankenstein basic track, and add a hundred overdubs in something called a recording studio, to make the sound I was hearing on the Beatles LP. Imagine my dismay when I learnt it was all fakery. Trickery. From the sentiment of the lyrics, to the names of the so-called musicians, why, the very notes themselves were a fraud… It had been CONSTRUCTED. Like a car. In a factory. A factory of sound. I was hooked. I was determined to learn this craft, and foist my trickery upon the world."
INSTRUMENTALS TRACKLISTING
48th St Snowfall
After Slice
Airports For Music
Alien Abduction Suite
Ambergris
And Another Thing
Another Winner
Anywhere But Sliceburg
Apple Peel
Bad Faith
Black Gates Breakdown
Black Orchid Extract
Bubblegum Hippie
Burning Thyrsus
C Serpent
Cassette Culture Casualty
Cleveland Avenue Breakdown
Close Encounter
Death of the Tape Rock Underground
Deep Muscle
De La Fire
Don't Shoot Me I'm Only the Cinematographer
Dork Side of Your Mom
Dreaming Close Encounters
Electro Nervy
Elvenkinda
Elvettes Super Deli
Elvis Deli Superette
Epitaxial Pop
Eternal Flame Takes Permanent Vacation
Every Great Action Hero Deserves a Sidekick
Everybody Had A Hard On (except for me and my monkey)
Expert At Amateur Dot Com
Eyes Pie For The Future Of America
Fake Snowflakes vs Diamond Dorks
Far Out On The Inside
Feed The People
Fucker Will
Full Portrait Jerry Chest Tattoo
Fuzzy Logic
Fuzzy Wonderbread
Gabriel's Peter in Kate's Bush
Gimcracked
Give Me The Launch Codes
Glumaldalclitch
Gulf of Honky Tonkin
Hes Drowning
Hey Zeus Reprise
High Speed Haiku
How You Can Be In Two Pieces At Once
Hundreds Of Dead Stars Discovered
In The Tunnel Under The River
Instaneous Legendary
Instant Grotification
Invisible Fascism
Itchy Runtburger
Jet Black Joystick
Junk Honey
Jupiters Bee
Kalina Drive Catastrophe
Killing Williamsburgh
Krusty Rottenman
La Veeta Heart Beat
Last Brain To Darksville
Lil Lotta Love Gramps
Listen to the Casual Reply
Litterbug
Losing The War With Myself
Meeting Of The MBAS
Middle America Rediscovers Heroin
Mixed Jagged
Mr T Rowe Price
My Love for You is Like the Fukushima Tsunami
Name Of This Band Was Rolling Runestones
Nobody Wants The Future
No Longer Friends
No One Can Ever Know It's Me
No Sides Now
Norway Is The New Zealand
Nutley Rock
Orchard Street Shakedown
People Have Holes (where their hearts should be)
Plastic Memories
Post Cold War Expat Chic
Presidential Suicide
Putting The Leaves Back On The Tree
Recombinant Excursion
Redneck Yuppie Dickhead
Remain in Light or Back in Black
Rip The Flesh Off With Your Teeth
Say Goodbye Tonight
Secret Beach Boys Fans (Acoustic Version)
Secret Beach Boys Fans (Full Version)
September
Skulls
Smoke Drink
Smurf Nazi
Somewhere Under The Rainbow
Sparklevomit vs Glittershit
Special For Machines
Stony Clouds
Storm King
Sun 101
Sunset No9
S'untitled
Swirly Cat
Ten Thousand More Things
Ten Thousand Things (early version)
The Boris Yeltsin Memorial Drum Solo
The Breaker Leaves
The Douchebag Goes Diving
The Life Of A Ghost
The March (and Subsequent Waltz) of the Yuppie Hipsters
The Mars Vaccine (Edit 01)
The Mars Vaccine (Edit 02)
The Mars Vaccine (Edit 03)
The Mars Vaccine (Edit 04)
The Mars Vaccine (Edit 05)
The Mars Vaccine (Edit 06)
The Mars Vaccine (Edit 07)
The Mars Vaccine (Edit 08)
The Mars Vaccine (Edit 09)
The Mars Vaccine (Edit 10)
The Meatiest Rotisserie Chicken
The Moss Grows Fat
The Payload Creaks and Lurches
The Total Blam Blam (instrumental)
Tick The Mailer
Tip of the Sliceburg
Turn My Wings On
Turning Into Butterflies Above the Tapedeck
Valentine
Vegas Sphere Climber and Nightclub Masochist
Villa Carmilla
Wasted Slice
Whalesback Revelation
What Goes On (when nothing's going on)?
When You Were God
Whole Life Feed
Why Drive When You Can Fly?
You Killed the Amazon Dolphins with Your Car
You Still Wanna Hang That Rap On Me
Your New Wall Sconces
VOCALS TRACKLISTING
Ain't Nothing Gold
Alaska
Anti-Work Song
Artemis Atomic
Beachball
Big Budget Band
Blow Out The Candles
Blue Balloons
Book Of History
Brighter
Candy Tongue
Can't Turn Myself On
C'mon Slacker (version 1)
C'mon Slacker (version 2)
Cocktail Time
Commodore Sixty Four
Crash
Crash'N'Burn
Crazy Uncles
Dalai Lama Loves You
Destination Freedom Rock
Dissolving Youth
Dressed To Kill
Everybody's Dead
Everyday
Everything Is Changing
Fake Rock
Feeling Like A Stone
Float Away
The Forever Springtime Cat
Ghost
Give It Up
Goodbye
Got Your Tape
Hey Forty
Hey Zeus Is Watching
Hipper Than
Hometaper Blues
I Shot The Invisible Man
In My Head Is Back
Instagrammy
It's OK To Cry (folk-rock version)
It's OK to Cry (new wave version)
Jigsaw Puzzle
Joe
Keep The Sleeper Dreaming
Keep The Sleeper
Keeper Of The Flame
Let Your Fingers Do The Walking
Letdown
Little Green Man (cassette overdrive version)
Little Green Man
Little Grey's Song
Lives Of The Great Painters
Lo-Fi Superhighway
Losing
Lost
Love Gramps
Love Hate Song
Manifesto
McDonaldlanders
Moon
Mountains of Bullshit and Rivers of Blood
My Sweet Potato
Never Suffered For Art
Night on Twelfth
Oh Chainsmoker
Once It Was Fun, but the Summer's Over
Paintings of the Insane
Parking Lot
Passage
Playing With Matches
Postcard (piledriver version)
Psychedelic Afternoon
Psychic Borderland
R U Ready?
Rabbit Soldiers
Rain On Your Parade
Recurring
Remodeling
Rich And Chewy
Rocktober Of Unlimited Youthquakes
Run, Don't Walk
Script City
Secrets
Seiji (rock version)
Seiji (squeaky version)
Seven Rays
Sleepytime (early version)
Sleepytime At Mission Control
Star UFO
Still In Love with You
Substance
Suck My Clouds
Sunshine 365 (cloudy version)
Sunshine 365 (sunny version)
Take A Trip
Ten Thousand Things (full version)
The Apartment
The Forever Springtime Dog
The Most Exciting Day Of Your Life
The Stick Game
The Total Blam Blam (vocal)
The Vee Jay Says
The Volcano Song
Thee Exceptional Childe
Tonite Tonite
Turn On The Radio
Velveeta Heartbreak Today
Videotape
Virtual Reality
Waiting
Walkman
What Are You Wearing To The Revolution? (live)
When We Get Old
When You Walk Into My Head
Why Be Normal?
Why Is Life So Sad?
Wonder Bread World
World's Flat
You Make Me Sick
(You Got Me) Feeling Heavy
ERSTWHILE PRESS CLIPPINGS and INTERNET BLURBS 1990-2010
"Sprawling lo-fi indie pop/rock. Velveeta Heartbreak is Michael James Bowman and this is a retrospective collection of CD-Rs and cassettes from his entire career. Funny story; he originally went by MJB until he found out Mary J Blige had assumed that title, after he started with it... the spirit and embrace of lo-fi is pure and authentic... Lots of well written, interesting rock and roll numbers, but also plenty of weird instrumentals and experiments... The man can write a pop tune, but he only teases us with glimpses... Basically, a compelling listen now matter how you think about it. Check out the homemade art, as well." Adam Pearson, KZSU-FM
"Jonathan Richman meets Neil Young at They Might Be Giants' house to trade a copy of Syd Barrett's Opel for a box of Good N' Fruity… 15 years of often brilliant lofi output… Mike is well on his way to becoming a legend in hometaping circles… This is the sound of a talented, confident songwriter who loves his 4-track and who would make this music even if nobody listened… if you're smart you'll be one of them" Jim Santos, Demouniverse
"Mike Bowman has done it again... This stuff sounds like it was produced by entire orchestras, when in fact, one guy does it all. The music ranges from pure pop to some sort of deranged garage punk to experimental stuff" Jersey Beat
"A little diamond in the rough on the tape trading scene by one Michael J. Bowman. Lotsa different styles here, from drench rock to acousticky goodies... this is dizzy pop spun around a few times on its macrocephalic head" Factsheet Five
"An acid-dosed cube of unrefined sugar" Alternative Press
"Michael J. Bowman is writing the songs, playing all the instruments and singing. He's been putting out tapes for years, prolific, experimental, wildly eclectic. The crucial thing that makes everything work here is that his first instrument is the drums- no drum-machine sameyness here... every track is pop, every track an experiment" Unhinged
"Lightweight rock with cheesy synths and geeky vocals-- all mixed outfront... but once again Mr. Bowman wins me over with his songwriting skills... These tunes have breezy guitar, nimble basslines, decent drumming and hooks galore" File 13
"It isn't anywhere near as bad as I expected it to be when I first saw the CDR coated in permanent marker drawings, and wrapped in a little plastic baggie, with photocopied inserts, and art drawn with crayons. The songs range from lovely little guitar and piano melodies to bizarre atmospheric electronica..." Delusions of Adequacy
"Cloud is the latest project from home taper Michael J. Bowman who has been releasing music under the moniker MJB for over ten years now. It's an all instrumental collection of creative pop, space, jazz, and... well just about everything really. The CDRs come in a unique dual foldout case which has drawings and hand letterings throughout." Jerry Kranitz, Aural Innovations
"straddling the ever expanding territory between abstract psychedelia and hook driven pop" Foxy Digitalis
"the greatest hometaper to ever turn on a four track" Don Campau, KKUP-FM
NOTES & ANECDOTES
99% of the 12 hours of audio collected here is the Michael J Bowman one-man-band. Without the following people, none of this would have been recorded. These are the people who contributed with the loan of a guitar, a guitar amp, a guitar solo, or in some cases an entire recording studio, or a chord change, bass/guitar/backing vocals, lyrics, a middle-eight or a chorus, and in a couple cases, an entire song, a sofa to surf on and a ride in their car: Paul Rose (more than anybody else, Paul. Thanks man!), Alec Cumming, Tony Faske, Cynthia Harden, KD Schmitz, Dave and Richard Stevenson, Joel Bachrach, Mark Garro, Chris Laine, Ray Carmen, C. Reider and Don Campau, to name a few. Apologies to those inadvertently left off the list (there are many), without all of your help none of this sound would exist. In memory of collaborators who have passed on, Billy Syndrome, Dan Susnara and Ian C. Stewart, RIP.
PHASE 1: Michael made his first 4-track recording at home in Wilmington, DE in the summer of 1984. That same summer, Michael moved to NYC, and over the next ten years lived at a variety of addresses in North Jersey, Queens and Manhattan. During that time Michael recorded dozens of experimental rock tracks in various basements, band rehearsal rooms and apartment kitchens. These recordings were hand copied by Michael onto cassette tapes, with names like "Yo Man Bowman", "Charm", "Primitivism & Progress", “Fuzzy Logic”, “Wonderbread World”, “Dead Braincells Society” and "Diamond Mind Hero". The tapes were shared with Michaels friends, traded with other hometapers/zinesters, and sent to indie radio DJs.
PHASE 2: In 1994, Michael moved into a Victorian cottage in the Hudson Valley. In the basement of that house he had a crude 4-track recording studio, where he recorded hundreds of experimental rock tracks. Michael would hand compile these recordings onto cassette tapes, with names like "Lo-Fi Superhighway", "C'mon Slacker", "Seeing Spots and Learning to Love It", "Buffalo Geegaw" and "SloppyQuirkyWussyPop". Again, the tapes were shared with Michael's friends, traded with hometapers/zinesters, and sent to indie radio DJs.
PHASE 3: In 1998 Michael began using a primitive Dell desktop computer in his basement recording studio. This represented a quantum leap of sorts, in that bouncing could now be accomplished with no loss of sound quality. Edits, overdubs and loops that would've previously been impossible were now too easy. It also meant that Michael could share his recordings on CDRs instead of cassettes. Some of the CDRs had names like "Feed", "Blunt Shade Artcore" and "Wanker". All of the CDRs were burned by hand, with unique art packages Michael made himself. In 2001 Michael had to leave the Cold Spring studio and move house several times, and so fewer recordings were made during this period. Recordings Michael made at the two Hudson Valley addresses during 2001-2003 were made into CDRs with names like "Bad Faith", "Diglayer" and "Hello". All of these CDRs were hand burned with covers made by Michael, and shared with his friends, traded with hometapers/zinesters, indie radio DJs, and on his own website semperlofi.com
PHASE 4: In 2004 Michael moved from the Hudson Valley to Brooklyn. For two years he had access to a rehearsal room on North 8th Street, where he made dozens of experimental rock recordings. These were shared out at the time on CDRs with the titles "Joy Rocket Terminal" and "The Fix for 2006". In 2006 and 2007 Michael began taking the unused tracks and reworking them at home in the laptop using garageband. The results of these experiments were hand copied onto cassettes and CDRs with names like "Magik Plastique We See You", "The Mars Vaccine" and "Lost Soul Picnic". In 2008 Michael, with his new wife and daughter, moved house again, and recorded one last set of recordings in that apartment, shared out as a CDR called "Psychic Borderland", after which Michael sold off all his gear and never touched a musical instrument again.
PHASE 5: After Michael quit in 2009, he continued his efforts to flog the entire body of work via the internet, and occasionally on CDR. This includes D.A.M CDs via mp3.com, and mp3 compilations on myspace, youtube, soundcloud, lastFM and bandcamp. In 2022, with the help of indie radio DJ Don Campau, Michael produced his first comprehensive retrospective collection "The Velveeta Heartbreak Sound Archive 1984-2009". That iteration is retired, and is replaced by this new gallerymjb archive, which is based on the restoration of tracks from my recently retrieved original hard-drive, and is now the only authorized version of my work available.
SECRET ABORTED CONCEPT ALBUM: At the time Michael had the basement studio on Orchard Street (1994-2001), he had the idea to create a concept album about a stoner loner who experiences an alien abduction and falls in love with his captor. Michael was appointment viewing X-Files at this time. Whilst the proper album never materialized, there are a handful of tracks here that make up the roots of it (an EP?). They are: Close Encounter, Alien Abduction Suite, Little Green Man, Little Grey's Song and Star UFO.
FAQ: HOW DO WE GET OUR GRUBBY LITTLE CLAWS ON THE BLOODY MP3s ?!
I did not create this stuff for you to ransack it, hijack it, pilfer it, or to do anything other than simply LISTEN TO IT. I don't need you to "distribute" it, or link to it, or write about it, or play it to others, or share it with others anywhere. By clicking any of the below links, you voluntarily enter into a perpetually binding, legally enforceable agreement to NOT be a parasitic scumbag, to NOT download it, NOT copy it, NOT share it, NOT upload it, NOT burn it to CD, NOT write about it, NOT re-upload it to youtube/soundcloud/bandcamp/internet archive/whatever, NOT play it on your radio show, NOT link to it, NOT mention it or play it in your podcast, NOT database it at discogs, NOT scrobble it, to basically NOT DO ANYTHING other than hit the play button and LISTEN. If I did this right, and you're trying to do anything other than listen to it or download it, it's going to be really confusing for you. You want this easy on Spotify? Where's the offer to sign me to a publishing deal? You deserve a house but not your favorite artist? I need a house, just like you. A big lump sum upfront payment. BIG. Five figures. No? Didn't think so. You cheap little bourgeoisie bastard. FUCK OFF. I don't care if you listen to it. I don't care if you like it. I get nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Diddly. Bupkis. I starve to death.
Artist -
Album Title
Medicinal Junkstore Bonanza - fake tapes for fake fans
Medical Jizz Bestows - psychotronix delivery
Mendicat Joicey Blather - effervescent flavour scent
Miffleton Jimster Begat - highlighters and lowlifers
Madeline Jerker Bond - deleterious dromedaries
Mixture Jumping Beans - butterflies on the mountain
Maximum Javelin Badge - a map of the fake universe
Marmot July Bassinet - way wavy wavelengths
Mastodon June Bass - ghosts in the refridgerator
Mangled Jitters Because - sunbursting thai died
Memories Jasmine Ballyhoo - crustacean playstation
Motorcycle Jail Blackness - valley of vibe
Middleton Journal Blackstone - xtra auditory particles
Matador Jinx Blaster - psychic sudarium
Morbid Jamboree Bungle - altitudes of phony dimensions
Mycroft's Jerking Bodybag - death of a fame chasing whore
Money Jeepster Believes - dino and dorsten sitting in a tree
Minty Jobber Beatitude - psychic doormouse
Malted Jeopardy Basket - zootropic instead ok
Midnight Jiffy Bindle - the lypticroque bandoliers
Masked Jockey Betrays - the vocuukix treatment
Marillions Jaded Before - wex vembix
Medallions Jargon Bunion - fake albums in a fake record store for fake fans
Mingus Jingles Bottom - singfried sings the fake songs
Mighty Jackpot Berries - this is not an album
More Juniper Bandwidth - the padded envelopes of hell
Milker Jest Band - plus de chansons
Makeout Jury Band - chansons de l'espace
Marker Jams Ballistic - chansons sur les voyages dans l'espace
Milking Joint Blues - noisy noises and songy songs
Magnificent Jasper Bust - Karly Marx sings the Kapital blues
Meta Jam Bling - you wanna watchoo wanna
Melting Jackoff Beltway - in the post office of padded envelope dreams
Miss Judger Bludger - now you know the name of this album
Meek Jive Beehive - glistening jewel cases of deception
Meteorologist Joins Busker - chansons etoiles
Mops Jingle Brightly - chansons fantomes
Methodical January Bitters - chansons de l'etherspace
Mystical Jukebox Banker - chansons electrique
Meanings Jolted Beyond - chansons nageant
Metal Jaguars Behold - you either know these songs or you don't
Mick Juggles Bianca - chansons de cendrier
Mucky Juicy Buckets - chansons perdue
Mungo Journey Between - bink billow
Misty Jewel Breasts - ok? ok
Mankind Jangles Beer - zaxofrulquist
Mazda Jacket Bumblebee - beings of the tape world
Mistletoe Jumps Bertrand - adventures in tapeyland
Malcontent Jelly Blue - elle gazelle
Maverick Joy Baggins - is this album title good enough for you?
Melody Just Blowing - enter your endless fantasy album titles here
Magick Junta Baffle - goner
Mysterious Jewelry Box - soviet souvenirs
Marvelous Junco Ballad - 20,000 leagues into the tape scene
Mighty Junk Bird - rearranging the ferric oxide molecules
Majestic Juice Breeze - luppa styukshvot
Magnetic Jennifer Bicycle - psychic passages
Morpheus Jones Bureau - the greatest songs ever recorded
Melifluous Japanese Bellflowers - exaltimator of the albumeter
Mantaray Jap Bangle - TDK Miracles
Mercury Jupiter Beltrane - who needs album titles?
Mama Jaundice Breakout - purplepoo
Mickle Jungian Breakaway - mansions of mauve
Mendacity Junction Beautician - Chanting Suckineer
Maxell Justice Brigade - Chromium Dreams
Master Jacks Butler - worlds of tape unspooling
Myxolydian Jesus Butter - children of the internet
Mastur Juice Bator - snoggs nexus
Meteor Jumble Bugger - vixen's dilemma
Mid Journey Bastards - the sadness of a broken tape scene
Melancholy Jaegermeister Blowout - what it means is your problem, not ours
Mary Juana Bozos - cheap ass scumbags
Moxy Jeans Bitch - whilst languishing in the tape underground
Marmalade Jipster Barbarian - lookit all these tape covers
Mayday Jiggy Banana - the best non-music music ever made
Manga Joymonger Breadstick - the pooness of poo
Maga Jewmonger Bullshit - the youness of you
Madison Jane Butthole - poptastical
Maximillian Jaculation Butter - folk fabula
Mister Jibberjabber Bones - listening to imaginary sounds
Marxist Jerrycan Bamboozle - Psychic Boogerland
Munching Jelly Burgs - this is not a CD
Mofo Jackass Blowjob - chicksters and dicksters
Moody Jackson Bamboo - tin can valley
Milfy Jezebel Bluebird - woipfrunkin'
Manchurian Jiggle Blip - furkin'
Molly Jingo Buggery - drefgusklip
Myloma Juju Bandage - vibatious fantasy LPs
Marxy Jogger Bottoms - Karly Marx
Michelle Jama Bangathon - chansons guerre
Mary Jane Bulbous - DIY Hick Rock
Moist Jeopardy Boxer - dancing with the dogs
Mossy Jesters Bailywick - dances with tapes
Mandibular Junkie Boyband - when I think of all those bloody tapes
Memory Jumper Bridge - Bedford Avenue Bushwhacker
Molten Junket Burnmark - the tapes of god
Minstrel Joking Blasphemy - super avilyn
Milky Jetstar Boobs - NOW this is what I call Lo-Fi Indie Rock
Malamute J Beluga - chansons alaska
Maya Jynx Believers - flying tapedecks
Margerine Justice Bugles - guaranteed basement quality
Marlybong Jangle Begins - weskropftard
Money Judging Bratwurst - shagatard
Magazine Jasper Bowl - shagateras
Milky Joist Bahama - crumbling moscow palace
Myspace Jugular Braintree - glittering norelco boxes
Minglewood Jojo Bop - huffatronic
Moonwalking Jay Bird - paultastic
Mansion Justify Bonfire - zippo
Mini Joy Bristle - qryzxiuox
Mandala Jizz Burrito - kygruist
Murky Jersey Boohoo - wyster
Miasma Jerome Billabong - four tracker of love
Mecca Jay Boho - alphabet city songster
Moldy Jurist Beach - by the bridge
Manlius Jockstrap Ballyhoo - Gryppo
Meltable Jank Boffins - NOW this is what I call Lo-Fi Indie Rock, Vol.2
Morgoth Jello Bedazzler - blackler
Mirror Jellies Bean - chansons plastique
Murgatroyd Jacks Belladonna - the glistening Norelco box of love
Mandalay Jesuit Batshit - songs of the internet and beyond
Murphin' Jack Boof - fraxin' the tapes
Mint Julip Buffalowings - scrygyx
Mustard Jalapeno Bootliquor - vyzchoix
Mongrel Jamaican Booty - ultra tape dimensions
Maffy Jutland Bonker - plongin' the tapes
Mastercard Jarhead Battleground - tapesingin' the songs for you
Ms Jampacked Barcelona - songshine on my tapedecks makes me happy
Missing Jetliner Brouhaha - chantalong songs for the chanty types
Miss Jefferson's Bum - chordy drummy singy tapey
My Jet-Propelled Beanbag - the album doesn't exist. stop worrying about it
Mistopheles' Jetway Bog - avalonger than
Metal Jimson Box - viva beaver
Mozzy Jango Beats - A1 tape sauce
Mirkwood Jazz Beetles - (a tape opera)
Mounting Jobcentre Bollocks - ferric oxide particles rearranged for your listening pleasure
My Joy Buzzer - singin' it and songin' it for the singsong of it
Metro Judas Bugger - album? what album?
Micky Joss Bubba - how many times do we have to tell you? there is no album
My Journey's Bridge - Psychic Tapeland
Michelob June Bug - tapes from tape-o-graphic oceans
Musical Jeanie Bastard - we rearrange the ferric oxide (so you don't have to)
Mega Jot Blotter - tape-ology 101
My Jumbo Beard - the saddest tapes ever made
Me Janky Booper - songy songs
Meerkat John Botswana - more songy songs
Monkeyman Jim's Bordello - trippin' the tapedeck (so you don't have to)
Moptop Jug Band - tapejams of the mesozoic
Metal Jaywalker Beatdown - ugly sweaty little twerps
Mabel's Jumpsuit Breakfast - don't give up on cassette tape just yet
Mantlepiece Joyride Buttons - the discovery of magic tape
Miraval Jolie Brad - angelina loves tape
Meandering Jackie-O Bagman - we hittin' the tapes
Maggie's Jawdropping Bodacity - tape tunes
Macaroni Jones Baby - this is tape shit
Macys Joycean Babushka - this song is gay
Martian Junk Bonds - noisy noises
Marshmallow Jousting Backflip - this is not a tape anymore
Magog's Jilted Babydoll - singin' the songiest songs (for you)
Milkman's Jaunty Boner - more noisy noises just for you
Methamphetamine Jesuit Baskerville - this is not a CDR anymore
Moleskin J Bilderburg - when we was makin' tapes
Munchkins Junkin' Bunchkins - orange is the color of change
Missile Jammer Bandicoot - leftovers on the ferric oxide strip
Motherfuckers Jankin' Bullshit - small, sweaty, ugly, creepy
Majestic Jane's Bolderdash - Rockin' it DIY
Mythopoeic Jasperite Buboes - Chansons Seiji
Manganese Japonica Bitcoins - Martian Melodies
Moon June Bushfire - we songed the tapes (so you didn't have to)
Mafioso Jazz Bubblegum - electromagnetic (is how we do it)
Malaysian Jizz Broker - abalone baloney
Manhattan's Joyless Bouquet - entering the erstwhile tape dimension
Manchunian Juice Buckets - abba (this is not)
Mustang Jeebuz Busboy - zanshit
Mutated Janus Bridle - rockin' the ferric oxide
Muttonchops Juicemaster Buckyballs - rockin' the TDK
Mellifluous Joyful Beautiful - we rock the open-reels
Marburg Jix Bundle - songs about snow
Massmarket Jipe Blather - faffylamp
Menshevik Joe Bolshevik - cashin' the cow
Miscreant Jerry Buzzers - future grot
Mezcali Jong Bullets - Opus One
Midsummer's Jagged Backchannel - also electricity
Mossy Japes Breakdown - hiss rock
Milwaukee Joyce Bender - taperock
Milquetoast Joker Brocade - basement rocker
Minecraft Jumper Bungee - this is some fuckin' Lo-Fi Indie Rock shit
Miniskirt Jessup Bolthole - crashy songs
Make Jigger Bigger - the anti-capitalist
Methuselah Junkie Browne - do saxophones belong on tapes?
Ming Judicial Biohazard - about those tapes...
Michael Jackson's Barbeque - the dork tapes
Miranda Jugend Badlands - noises of the hivemind
Miracle Jazzbo's Babanook - Ace Barbie
Maplesyrup Jolt Bourbon - once again people, there is no album
Misery Juke Box - the hearing you do whilst you are listening
Mitochondrial Jaipur Broadcast - if you really need an album title that badly, make one up and enter it here
Marxist Jacobin Blowback - the winter of my tape trading years
Mindanao Jetlag Biker - pregab sound
Migdet Jodhpur Barista - abandon the idea that an album ever existed
Moonstruck Jedi Bypass - there are no albums
Musical Junk Bunny - in the windmills of the basement tape studio
Michaela's Japanoid Basecamp - these albums don't exist
Moscow Jeremiah Bullfrog - process the casio
Morgan's Jizzified Breakdance - albumen album
Mylanta Jetty Bircher - rockin' the ampex 456
Mumps Jindabyne Buckshot - allium album
Mandarin Jackaroo Brisbane - pizza rock
More Junk Bunny - more junk
Mellow Jenny Bumrush - jenny rock
MoMA Jackson Betrayal - what modern was
Muscovite Jealousy Barrage - boris rock
Mozart's Jacaranda Blooms - adderall album
Malmo Jingo Bono - asterix album
Marxist Jakarta Barge - abdomen album
Monster Juice Box - absailing the seas of album
Moldy Jetsons Beatport - absentia in album
Mayfair Judy Brain - absconding albums
Moose Jelly Bomb - abominable album man
Mustapha's Jungfrau Bust - able to enter an album title here? go for it
Monday Jasmine Banger - Sicker Than
Michaelangelo's Juicy Bong - abstain from albums
Mandalay Jake Bison - rainbow rock
Mortuary Jiminy Bovary - fantasies
Monk's Junk Bunker - aorta of your album
Mongoloid Jam Band - absorta album fantasies
Meghan Jilts Bonnyboy - allison's album years
Merv Jiffy Beau - allstars of the fantasy album league
Minnow Jude Beatle - alsace lorraine's album
Munion Jules Brigade - the persistence of ferric oxide particles
Mock Jaffa Biscuit - avec albums
Milfeous Jickster Bizkit - fuzz the casio
Mothra Jumpster Bonghits - abbey album
Macca's Jalopy Blacklite - more crashy songs
Mannequin Japstar Belonging - an album that doesn't exist cannot be entered here unless it's a fantasy album
Market Jejune Bonami - abigail the album
Muzak Junior Bassoonist - absolutely NOT an album
Microsoft Johnson Balls - the agency of fantasy albums
Missing Jet Baggage - another not an album album
Mondo Jack's Byzantine - mixpaste your favorite album title here
Miffy Jappy Budgie - not an album
Mindy Jural's Brobdingnagian - icky licky
Monkees Jonesing Bungalow - this is also not an album
Mythra Jellystone Brickbat - album title goes here
Menstrual Joke Broadcaster - this is not in any way shape or form an album
McDonalds Jism Burger - chansons noir
Mohamed's Jacked-Up Buick - the notional album title would go here, if there was one
Marmite Jag Bus - armband
Magpie Java Bivouac - albums of the sky
Monumental Jiss Blast - adele's non-existent album
Musty Jellied Bovril - albums that never were can only be fantasized about (enter them here)
Mandroid Joss Blanket - you can generate fictitious album titles all day long (enter them here)
Mouse Jogger Blogger - adelaide is as good a place as any to fantasize about fictitious albums
Mannix Javanese Bonespur - albums of amber
Mozzie July Banquet - any album you'd care to fantasize about (here)
Myanmar Junta Bankroll - put the album title you were fantasizing about here
Minsk Jypster Burisma - anna's fantasy album
Malkmusk Jugoslav Bandolier - spazz rock
Morrow Joyce Brighton - alice's fantasy album doesn't live here any more
Major Jello Backlog - amanda's fantasy album (restricted)
Marilyn Jumpstart Basquiat - any album title will do, seeing as there's no album
Morsel Jib Bupkiss - axis bold as fantasy albums
Murphy Jones Biopic - arial's fantasy album exchange
Mantra Jocular Birdwatch - aim to put the title of the fantasy album here
Maxilla Jot Bipolar - imagine a fantasy album name, then write it here
Maw Jaw Breastplate - fantasy album titles go here
Monarch Jollies Bunghole - fantasies of the imaginary albums go here
Monocle Juxtapoz Blackbeard - at the gates of your front lawn
Mortimer's Junked-up Boofybutt - albums of the mind
Mouseketeers Jamboree Bombshelter - the psychotic desire for imaginary albums
Mortimer's Jeantastic Bonerguard - watcha you wanna widda fake albums anyways?
Miserable Jellyfin Bitwarden - fake album cover generators of the mesozoic
Mister Jackshit Balance - tapesongs of the mesozoic
Muff Jute Browser - fuzzy boxes
FAKE BAND NAME HERE - FAKE ALBUM HERE
© Michael J Bowman - All Rights Reserved
FAQ: How many times can 12 hours of "music" be re-named, re-branded, reiterated, re-compiled, repackaged, remixed and "re-released"?
AS MANY FUCKING TIMES AS I FEEL LIKE IT, BECAUSE I OWN THE MUSIC AND YOU DON'T. SO DON'T FUCKING FORGET IT. SO STOP TRYING TO BE ME, OR TRYING TO BE MY SUPPOSED RECORD LABEL, OR BIOGRAPHER, OR WHATEVER STUPID SHIT YOU THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO DO, WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST, LIKE AS IF I WAS DEAD. STOP FUCKING WITH ME AND MY CREATIONS, AND GO FUCK YOURSELF.
These images are © Michael J Bowman, All Rights Reserved, and may not be used without my permission. Under no circumstances are these images, whether existing here or on a cassette, CDr, 7" sleeve, or internet page, available for re-use in any way, shape or form. DO NOT UPLOAD IMAGES OF MY CREATIONS ANYWHERE. This includes blogs, database websites, internet archives, commercial websites, data file tagging, and/or reprinted materials of any kind.
Here's a tape called "If you're a discogs user, chances are you're a douchebag". It has tracks called "Karsten Rodemann is an anal retentive nazi douchebag" and "Joshua C. Davis is a sneaky grubby little bit shitter". Make sure you enter these titles EXACTLY as they appear. Now fuck off back to discogs you little piece of shit.
Or how about this classic tape of mine called "The Dickie-Moe Douchebags of Discogs", featuring the tracks "Karsten Rodemann smells like shit", "Karsten Rodemann is an ugly little creep", and "Brent A. Greissle is Kevin Lewandowski's unpaid full-time bootlicker".
there are many more not pictured here. All of the packaging for my audio tapes, cdrs and vinyl was created by me and is © Michael J Bowman, All Rights Reserved, and may not be used without my permission, including those not pictured here.
compilation appearances:
Gajoob Compilation #1 (tape) Gajoob
Gajoobilation 8 (tape) Gajoob
Homemade Music Smell of Success (CD) Gajoob
We Are Not Alone: Songs For The Lo-Fi Generation (tape) Best Kept Secret
Pop-Cult #2: The Sleepy Tape (tape) Pop-Cult/Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh! Sound (tape) Pop-Cult/Ooh! Ooh!
Rewind and Pause (CDR) Lonely Whistle
Tape Heads Attack (tape) Haltapes
Silber Xmas 2000 (CDR) Silber
Songs for America (CDR) Silber
Lord Litter's Tapedepartment No.2 (tape) KFR/Lord Litter
Produce (tape) Set Cassettes
Karaoke Serenade (tape) Right On!
Word in Our Mouths (tape) KD Schmitz
Glasvocht Sampler (CDR) Glasvocht
Walkman Meltdown Vol. 3 (tape) Hypertonia World Enterprises
100% Redneck (tape) KAW
Bliss #85 and #87 (tapes) Bliss Aquamarine
various No Pigeonholes radioshow tapes
collaborations:
Sinecure - full length with Don Campau (CDR) Lonely Whistle
Pen Pals 3 - tracks with Don Campau (CDR) Lonely Whistle
Best of Don Campau Vol.2 - tracks with Don Campau (CDR) Lonely Whistle
Egg-o-matic - EP with Scott Carr (CDR) Semperlofi/Tapehiss
F13 - full length with KD Schmitz (CDR) Semperlofi
Insect Darts - full length with Mark Garro (CDR) Semperlofi
Droneforest - various - Vuzh Music
Tapegerm - various - Gajoob
Mummies of the Insane - full length with Billy Syndrome (CDR) Slutfish
Ken Clinger - various
Pillows of Ear - full length with Zan Hoffman (CDR) ZH27
Cloud/Samarkand - split (tape) Semperlofi
Chop Suey - various artists collab/comp (Tape/CDR) Semperlofi
Unstoppable! - various artists collab/comp (CDR) Semperlofi
Junkbunny "Bump" - full length (CDR) Semperlofi/Pink Hedgehog
Stars and Butter "First Steps" (tape) Semperlofi
as drummer/songwriter:
Joel Bachrach "Joel's Bar-B-Que" (CDR)
Jason Trachtenberg "Together" (CDR)
The JFK Jr. Royal Airforce "Androids" (CDR)
The Brian Wilson Shock Treatment - various
Exeter Popes EP (CDR)
The Hungry Dutchmen - various
The Astorians "Guffhaw" - full length (LP), "Wakin' Up" EP (tape)
covers:
Ray Carmen covered my song "Still In Love With You" (tape, Cut'N'Paste)
Daniel Prendiville, Ian C Stewart (?) covered my song "The Rocktober of Unlimited Youthquakes"
I covered:
-"Blue Balloons" from the MJB/KD Schmitz "F13" CDR
-"Miss January" and "Anybody Could Get A Gun" by Dan Susnara
-"Monster" by Ray Carmen
-"Sun 100" by Alec Cumming
songs where I borrow from, quote from, steal from or co-wrote with:
-"Goodbye" and "Once It Was Fun, but..." - Alec Cumming
-"Ghost" and "The March (and subsequent Waltz)..." - Don Campau
-"Ten Thousand Things", "Secret Beach Boys Fans", "A Snake and Your Car" - KD Schmitz
-"Thrush" is a collab with Ray Carmen, the basis of which led to "Oh Great Big Moon"
at the time I became unable to play/create music anymore (2010),
there were two ill-fated projects:
-"Mr. Mystery" - a multi-collab/cover project involving
Ray Carmen, Ken Clinger, Don Campau
-an aborted collab project with Don Campau that he called "Alternator"
also, Paul Rose and Alec Cumming appear on several MJB tracks
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